I think I’m well on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady. Am I allergic to cats? Why, yes. I am. But you know what? I never have had a cat turn their back on me. Miss Kitty was my greatest companion. She got me through some of the darkest times in my life. She actually was around for every single relationship I’ve ever had. She was always there if I was upset and wouldn’t leave my side until I was better and my tears had dried. She was insanely sensitive and compassionate, which I know to a lot of people sounds stupid or insane, but it was true. Ask any of my family members. I miss her to pieces. It’s really hard for me to talk about her because of how much she really meant to me. I know finding another cat like her will be hard and probably near impossible, but I’d like to try.
|Miss Kitty - The most amazing cat who ever was.|
I get lonely. I completely understand the need for companionship now that I’ve moved and my only best friends are 5 hours away. I talk to my two best friends daily via the internets, but I don’t get to go hang out with them regularly or grab dinner or drinks or go get my nails done with them or hang in with a bottle of wine and watch a movie. I do these things with Dan daily (not the bottle of wine), but friendship and companionship other than your relationship is necessary (as I’m definitely feeling tonight).
|Scottish Fold kitty|
Part of me is incredibly depressed about recent happenings (and by recent, I mean months of building and a few days of imploding). I’m really sad that friends I thought I had been there for have seemingly disappeared or neglected to keep in touch or worry about my wellbeing or be there for me in my times of need (which I’ve had lots of since moving). And part of me is glad to finally be aware that there are people I simply can’t rely on so I don’t continue to get my feelings hurt or hopes up. And by the same token, I’m happy to know that I do have a couple of friends who have become even closer and more supportive of me since I’ve made the move out to Connecticut. It’s an odd place to be in. It’s an odd mix of emotions. It’s me being down and wounded and incredibly hurt, but then that “force the glass to be half-full” part of me kicks in and thinks about the silver lining… Look at the friends you do have that are incredible and send you letters in the mail just because or drove from Ohio or Pennsylvania to come see you because they simply missed you, or who make it a point to ask me daily or weekly how the fuck I’m doing up here… Those people are important and those seemingly simple instances are beyond important to me. They are the only things that keep me going sometimes.
|Another Scottish Fold|
My mother has always said that a relationship should be icing on the cake—not the whole cake, and she’s right. My relationship is amazing and I’m incredibly thankful for Dan and he is easily my best friend. But a life should be well rounded and balanced. I’m still struggling to find that balance up here, I guess.
Back to the cat thing… Wednesday, I finally bought a new couch… My first REAL grown up purchase (I’m still driving the car I drove in high school). I don’t think I could have a cat de-clawed… and that couch was not cheap…
Any other pet ideas? Dogs are too needy and rats don’t care all that much when I’m down and out… Hmmm…
P.S. I'm obsessed with Scottish Fold kitties. They look like little owls. Don't you think adding them to this slightly depressing post brightens everything right up?? I may do this more often in the future. ;-)