Memory Machine

I had an amazing weekend.  It was exactly what I needed.   I know that I've been craving human interaction and "fun", but I didn't realize until I was in the thick of it last night, breathing in the energy and inspiration of NYC, just how much I need it and thrive on it.  I had so much fun making new friends, laughing with old friends and dancing the night away.  It was fabulous.  I couldn't have asked for more.

Dismemberment Plan @ Webster Hall, NYC 1/29/11

The night was planned around the reunion show of The Dismemberment Plan.  They were a band I was fortunate enough to be introduced to while they were still very much together and playing frequently in Washington DC, which was very close to where I was at the time.  I had seen them countless numbers of times at the Black Cat with my friend Joel (almost always), and had even traveled to go see them in Pennsylvania amongst other areas.  They broke up in 2003 and I was there for their second to last show.  It was sad to see them disband, but I felt lucky to have been a part of what they had built.

I was unbelievably excited to hear that they were planning a reunion tour this year and as soon as this news hit, all of my old friends who were also fans were buzzing with excitement.  We all bought our tickets and spent the following month gearing up for the reunion.

I hadn't listened to them in a long time and hearing their music definitely reminds me of certain times in my life or certain people I spent most of my time with, but seeing them live was a different story completely.  I was transported back in time.  It felt like home.  I felt like I was in DC, young and ambitious and full of life.  It was an odd, but welcomed feeling that came over me at the show.  This new life I felt gaining momentum stayed with me after the show.

We went bar hopping, met up with other friends, danced, drank, talked about all the good movies we had seen lately, then caught a cab back home.  The night ended late (or early in the morning) and I was all smiles and giggles heading to bed.

Hungover train ride back to CT.

I truly hope that this kind of experience can happen more often.  I'm trying to be optimistic that our moving closer to Hartford will create more of these nights with new friends, or that maybe old friends will be more inclined to visit and make new memories with me in my new "home".  I'm hoping for the best, but it's hard to think that a city in Connecticut without any friends or acquaintances will somehow measure up at all to Charm City or NYC...  But it's my last hope.

In the meantime, I'll be trying to make more trips to NYC to get my small doses of feeling alive.  It's no longer a want.  It's become a necessity.  I feel like my tattoos have become a sham, as I'm definitely not living life to the fullest.  In my defense, being in this area with little to do and no one to know, it's pretty damn hard to live it up...  but all I can do is continue to try.  It's all I've got.

xo,
Rachael

"If they can make machines to save us labor
Someday they'll do our hearts the very same favor" - D Plan