Moving on.

Today I was talking to a co-worker about moving.  It hit me.  It’s less than a month away.

 

I’ve been in Connecticut for half a year, and our cute little railroad apartment has done its job wonderfully.  Dan had to move up before me, I didn’t know where I would be working once I did move, and Dan needed a place he could afford on his own while I was still in Baltimore.  Our little apartment did all of those things for us.

It also was the place we fell deeper in love and strengthened our friendship and relationship.  It’s the place where Dan became my best friend (without question) and the place where I finally found the happiness that I’ve been searching for most of my life.  A place that was terrifying at first and I saw as, “Dan’s apartment,” slowly became our home.   It’s a place where I grew up more than I have in all my 27 years.  The first place I bought real furniture for.  It ended up being the place I’ve become most comfortable in my own skin, and the place that I’ve come to realize I’ve made all the right decisions thus far.  Bold statements, huh?

Built in cabinet full of our toys

 It’s also the place with no dishwasher, a coin-operated (tiny) washer/dryer that I have to go OUTSIDE to get to, no AC, steep driveway I can’t get my car up in the snow, an upstairs neighbor with bass that rhythmically vibrates my bed til the wee hours in the morning (weekend or school night, alike), and hardly any counter space in the kitchen but I digress…  (I have to keep reminding myself of these things or else, I’ll never leave!)

"Summer Slashers" Series by Electric Zombie

This apartment will always hold so many memories for me.  Good and bad, but mostly good.  I have shed so many tears in this apartment, but they have all dried up and I’ve settled into my new life nicely.  From the artwork collection we’ve established lining the walls, to the dark brown carpet, I’ve come to know this cozy little place as “home”, but we’ve grown up a lot in these past 6 months.  We now know where we’re working, we know what we need and want, and for both of us, it’s still each other, so we’ve decided to move on.

The new apartment is far bigger, with tons of room for visitors (a WHOLE massive guest bedroom - ahem), dinner parties, hell, even roller-skating if we wanted.  The kitchen is massive and there’s SO much space everywhere.  New space for new memories. 

Most importantly, the apartment is within walking distance of lots of fun bars and restaurants and a big beautiful park with a stunning rose garden.  The surrounding area was truly the biggest factor when we decided to move.  I need city life breathing around me, not a dishwasher.  It’s really about location, not amenities (though the dishwasher is definitely a plus, and I’m sure my nails will agree).

We will continue to grow as individuals and as a couple no matter where we live, and this new apartment will easily become our new home since what makes it our “home” is really us, but leaving our first apartment together behind is bittersweet.  It’s a good thing we’re taking all the best things about our first apartment together with us.

Xo,

Rachael 

Endometriosis Awareness Month

March is Endometriosis
 Awareness Month

If you know me, you probably know about my experience with, or at the very least that I have, endometriosis.  It's a painful condition which the tissue that behaves like the cells lining the uterus (endometrium) grows in other areas of the body, causing pain, irregular bleeding, and possible infertility.  The tissue growth (implant) typically occurs in the pelvic area, outside of the uterus, on the ovaries, bowel, rectum, bladder, and the delicate lining of the pelvis. However, the implants can occur in other areas of the body, too. (definition from PubMed Health)

The cause of endometriosis is unknown.  March is endometriosis awareness month.  I highly suggest heading here to find out more about the disease and who it's affecting (8.5 million North American women and teens, and totaling 176 million worldwide).

I have recently joined a group on facebook to be of support and to be supported, and have been hearing what sounds mostly like hopelessness.  I wanted to share my experience thus far, to give some sort of optimism, at least.  Reading the stories of the group made me realize how lucky I've been in my situation.  I know all of our stories are different, but maybe someone can be comforted by my journey thus far...


I'll put the rest under a jump.  **WARNING:  There will be one (not graphic to me) picture of my "franken-belly" after my first surgery and talk about girl parts and periods after the jump, so boys-- feel free not to jump.  :)

Spring is in the air...

It's in my bones.  I can feel it.  I was driving home yesterday and snapped these few pictures at my favorite moment in my commute.  The trees part, there are mountains in the distance and to my right is the sunset that casts  beautiful neon pinks and oranges that dance along the edges of the clouds.

I'm fighting these last few weeks of cold.  We'll have a day like yesterday, where I ripped off my scarf after work and declared "Spring is here!!"  I cracked my windows, blared my "girl rock" Pandora station and sang with my wayfarers on all the way home.  I caught myself with the goofiest smile on my face.  Then I went to the gym and when I walked out and hour later, I thought I was going to die of hypothermia.  It's such a tease...

Regardless, that little glimpse of what it soon to come is just what I needed.  I am a different person when it's warm and sunny out.  I appreciate life differently-- for all the good there is in it.  When it's dark and gloomy and cold, I still try to be appreciative, but find myself looking at it from an "I'm lucky to have these amazing people in my life to drag me through these times" kind of way.  When it's beautiful out, I can appreciate having those same amazing people in my life to celebrate each day with.  It's just different and very welcomed.

So, come on, Spring.  I know you're there.  Don't be scared.  Come on in.  The water's fine.  ;-)

xo,
Rachael

My First Connecticut Visitors!

This weekend was as lovely as my Friday (as expected).  We have had visitors to our CT apartment, but none have come further than NY, and most (truth be told), are more of Dan's friends.  It's been a long and lonely winter, and I'm thrilled that Spring is on it's way.  I'm also thrilled that I have two friends who refused to wait for winter to die before coming up to visit me.

This past weekend happened to be right around my 6 month anniversary of moving up to Connecticut, and I got to see two of my dearest friends.  Mr. Don Boots drove all the way from Ohio to Pennsylvania where he met up with the lovely Adina and they headed all the way up to little old me in Connecticut (making RECORD time, by the way - go, speed racer!).  I hadn't seen Don since my going away shindig in August and hadn't seen Adina since Emmy and Jello's (amazing) wedding in October.  When I sat and thought about how long it had been, I was surprised.  It didn't feel nearly as long since Adina and I speak daily and Boots and I keep close tabs on each other and call each other whenever something new is going on or just to make sure all is well (as friends do), but I was still over the moon to see them in person.

Just when I think my eyes are blue,
here's Boots to kill that theory.

It was so fun to make a (loose) plan for the weekend to decide where I wanted to take my new-to-CT visitors.  I've had half a year to find a few hidden gems and knew right away where a few of our destinations would be.  As soon as they arrived, we scooped them up, put them into Dan's car and took them to Eli Cannon's Tap Room.  We love this place for the amazing selections of microbrews on tap.  One thing New England has going for it is it's delightful breweries in the area.  They keep their beer menu on chalkboards because of how frequently they change out the beers.  Delicious.  They also have great taste in music.  I always find myself singing along to some 90's song I haven't thought about in years and reminiscing about my old CD collection.  We had great food (boots loved his maple marshmallow dipping sauce for his sweet potato fries), great beer and wonderful conversation (after Boots finally was allowed in after forgetting his ID at home).  We came home and went to bed after making a pact that we would try our hardest to sleep in until 12pm (we kept it...  Or at least Don and I did.  Dan and Adina kindly kept quiet so we could be lazy).

GLOW PIRATE MINI GOLF!!

The only other solid plans I had were for dinner on Saturday night and brunch on Sunday.  We collectively decided to head to a local diner to grab some lunch which is where we decided on our next activity.  Glow in the dark-indoor-Pirate themed-mini golf.  I didn't even know this existed in the world, much less 10 minutes away.  It was pretty fun.  I learned that I am very bad at mini golf.  As Dan put it at the end of all 18 holes, "I won, Adina and Don tied for a close second place and Rachael...  got a little less than the rest of us."  Nicely put.



Then the REAL fun began.  The part I was maybe looking forward to the most-- getting ready to go out!!  I rarely get "dolled up" anymore and when I do, it's just to impress Dan, not really for the fun of being a complete and utter girly girl.  Adina and I tried on our outfits for one another, gave advice on what to wear, did our make up and hair and chatted away while the boys played Rock Band.

Then it was off to BAR in New Haven.  If you know me well, you know I'm not a big fan of pizza.  I'd rather have pasta.  I'd rather have a salad.  I'd rather have a calzone.  EXCEPT when it comes to BAR's pizza.  Holy god.  It's the thinnest crust, the freshest ingredients and the yummiest beer.  I love the actual bar itself, too.  Reminds me a lot of the Red Star in Baltimore.  It's big with high ceilings and 2 full bars and tables scattered across the place.  The front of the restaurant has massive windows from top to bottom, so you can watch the "whore parades" late night and all the Yale students running about.  Anyhoo, we all had a great time and headed to a small little bar down the street with live music for a nightcap, then headed back home.  Dan and I sang Violent Femmes all the way home.  It was wonderful.

That's where Adina broke out Just Dance 2 (Wii game) and this happened:

Yeah.  This is when I found out I'm also bad at dance video games.  Just awful.

Brunch was lovely the next day at Huxley's, the library-themed diner close to our house, then we sent off our first visitors with big hugs and much love to head back to their shitty states (we live in the trifecta of shitty states, we decided).

Really made me feel loved to have friends come and see me.  It was just what I needed to kick into this amazing mood I've been in since Friday.  I'm a lucky gal.

xo,
Rachael

Today I didn't even have to use my A.K.

I got to say it was a good day.



Ice Cube got it right. Damn.

I just wanted to take a moment to say IT WAS A GOOD DAY!  And it's only 4pm.

I've been beyond creative and full of ideas at work.  Collaborating has come with ease in the past two days and it's really been exciting me.  I've been toying with the idea of shooting for Creative Director or at least being more involved with the creative process (in advertising) for a while, now, and I've finally gotten right into it.  Sink or swim, and I'm Michael Phelps.

It feels so good.

That doubled with the fact that two of my dearest friends are coming up to CT tonight (Adina from PA and Boots all the way from OH!!!) to see me.  Man.  I have been here for about 6 months, now, and none of my friends have made it up to see me, yet.  I'm beyond excited to have visitors.

I adore Dan so very much, and I'm so absolutely lucky to have him in my life, but having a lack of females around can get a gal down.  Even though I still do all of the same things I did previously before moving to CT, I don't have anyone to talk makeup with or play dress up with.  I still do those things and Dan puts up with them, but he isn't really involved with what I'm talking about/doing.  I'm totally doing it up on Saturday before we go out.  I'm THRILLED.

On top of the great creativity that flowed today and yesterday, I upgraded Final Cut today (my editing software), which is always sexy, and THEN was startled by the yelling of "Get ya beeeeee-ah heeeee-ah" from my office door.  It was my boss with a makeshift "beer cart" full of delicious Hooker and Harpoon beers.  YUM.

The work day hasn't even ended, and yet, I'm nothing but smiles and energy.  I can't wait to see my friends tonight.  It's only going to enhance what I'm already feeling.

Happy Friday, indeed.

xo,
Rachael

The Misunderstood Art: Fashion

I made a choice in high school that I would pursue art as a career.  I went into college with one thing most people entering college rarely have-- a path.  I knew that I wanted to do something I love for a living, but I also have a fondness for the finer things in life (great food, wine, sexy designer bags and shoes...) and art very rarely pays off financially when it comes to career.  The term "starving artist" is a household phrase for a reason.

There were a few paths I considered (and still think about trying my hand at all the time):
-  Culinary school
-  Tattooist
-  Hair Stylist/Colorist
-  and finally...  Fashion Designer

When I made the choice to go to art school and pursue photography (something I've always had a passion for, and I know people can make a living at), my fashion design teacher was really disappointed.  It actually made me think twice about the whole thing since she seemed to have so much hope for me...  But when I really thought about it, she was a "fashion teacher" at a high school in the middle of nowhere, Maryland, and I knew how cutthroat the fashion industry truly is, so I went with my original plan of studying photography (I know I ended up with Video as my major, but still graduated with a concentration in Photography and minor in Literature, but that's another story for another time).

Alexander McQueen

Few things inspire me as much as fashion does or can.  I have physical reactions to fashion that I don't get from many other things.  It appeals to me in so many ways.  Marc Jacobs and Alexander McQueen (RIP) have made bags that have actually made my mouth water.  How crazy is that?

Not only can some pieces be considered wearable art (bags and well made pieces becoming an investment), but amazing shoes or clothing can totally change a person's mood or view of themselves.  Confidence levels can rise (which, to me, is invaluable) and the amount of creativity that can go into collections or even just one little handbag, can be mind-blowing.  I also certainly expressed myself through fashion while growing up.  I loved that one day I could be a goth gal, and the next wear some cute preppy get-up to show all sides of me.  What I loved the best was mixing the two looks (or any two looks, for that matter) and that remains my favorite part of piecing together outfits AND is also what my favorite designers are most successful in doing.  Putting soft with hard and pretty with rough.

MY 1st Marc Jacobs bag

This fondness I have always have for fashion and designing really bloomed into a full-blown love affair when I began working (my face off) in advertising and actually had the means to participate in owning some of this artwork (i.e. I could afford to buy some nice things for once).  I welled up with tears when I purchased and held my first Marc Jacobs handbag of my very own.  It was an emotional moment because not only did I own a piece of art from someone I so admire and respect and adore, but it was a mark of pride that I had worked hard enough for long enough to have earned the right to purchase something that purely was just for my own happiness.  That's how I feel about each designer piece I own.

Most people don't understand this passion and most people I've run into seem to think that it's all a big waste of money.  I always found it funny that while I was buying a new LAMB handbag and driving my 1997 Toyota Corolla (that ran fine) I was being told that my money was being spent foolishly, but others could drive around in over-the-top expensive luxury cars and wear sweatpants.  It's all in what makes us happy, folks.  I choose a handbag that makes me drool and you choose a fast car that gives you a hard-on.  What's the difference?  We both can afford the toys--  I understand how ridiculous buying a $500 bag is if you can't afford your rent or can't go grocery shopping for a month or two-- but the same goes for a fancy car or going to bars every night of the week.

Budgeting your money is a must, but even when I didn't have the money to own the fashion, it was still a passion and a hobby of mine.  Just like people love watching sports, I had fashion to follow.  It's not that difficult to grasp.  I bet the same people who give me shit for spending money on labels wouldn't give me shit for buying a Warhol...  *sighs*

I digress...

What Doesn't Kill Us... Still Sucks.

"Gym Loris"

It's official.  I've been sick for a week, now.  I got a flu shot this year, and I'm not even quite sure that this is the flu, but it's awful.  I move like molasses and think at the same speed.  I've only gone to the gym maybe twice the whole week and decided to deem myself a "gym loris" instead of "gym rat" or "gym mouse" or "gym rabbit", as Dan sometimes refers to me.  I'm skipping it again today.

My fingers even type slower, and all of my joints ache.  Even each individual knuckle in my digits, my elbows, knees and hips.


So while I wanted to write a nice Valentine's Day post about the beautiful Valentine's Day flowers my daddy had sent to my work, Dan and I's dinner, my new dress and tights (Marshall's - Dress $12, Givenchy tights $6), the couple's massage that is yet to be scheduled and the tattoo gift certificate that has Dan's mind contemplating what his next piece of permanent artwork will be, it will have to wait, or may be just a memory for myself and not the internets.

I've somehow managed to schedule a casting session, make casting selects and coordinate a shoot in 2 days.  We'll see how the editing goes.  Hopefully as quickly, or we won't meet our deadline.  Shoot is Friday, and if I'm not well by then, we will have some serious problems.

I can't edit or animate like a slow loris.  It's unacceptable in this situation.  And while I'd say I would take the entire weekend to lay around and rest up for the upcoming (crammed) work week, I can't.  Dan has packed it full of social plans, which I am usually yearning for.

I have fallen asleep after dinner on the couch each night this week.  It's a combination of my illness and the new heating blanket Dan got us that lands me in an instant coma as soon as it's switched on and turned up above the "6" setting.  (Mental note:  I should change the words to "Instant Karma" to "Instant Coma" before I drift off next time...)  I never nap, so this is definitely my body telling me something is up.

V-Day Flowers from Daddy

On top of the sick and exhaustion and fair amount of depression swirling around, there has also been a new development in my endometriosis.  And by "new development", I mean it's back.  It's insane that it truly does pop up every two years (with a surgery in between each of the two years).  During the two years, I rarely think about it and then out of nowhere-- BAM!  There's the reminder that your downstairs mix up is a jumbled mess you'd like to throw down the garbage disposal.

I'm attempting to reach out to a new specialist up here, but I don't know if I'd feel comfortable going to someone new to do my next surgery (which is seemingly inevitable).  I just wish I could scrape it all out and be done with it.  Last night I was saying, "I'll just take em out, and I'm sure SOMEBODY..." then I stopped.  "Nevermind.  No one would want those bunk ass ovaries and uterus."  Defective.  That's how I feel.  Not in the "ohhh, I'm broken" type of sense, but in the "who needs em'?" type of sense.  I'm just tired of having to take meds ALL THE TIME.

Anyhoo, that's what's new.  I will be writing a NY Fashion Week post in the near future as soon as my fingers hurt less.  This year has been unlike any other since I actually got to experience a lot of it from the comfort of my own apartment (or office...).  It was truly amazing and has changed my life and inspired me beyond words.  I'll attempt to explain with words in my next post.

xo,
Rachael