From the time I was old enough to have my own "individual style", I started wearing an inappropriate amount of rings. I had at least one ring on every finger. I had one ring given to me by an ex that I worse for years and when things started to get shitty, my finger under that ring only would start to bubble and itch. I swore it had something to do with warning me things were going sour or something was wrong, but that was easy to talk myself into because with that relationship, most everything was wrong all the time.
But I'd shake it off and say, "that's just silly. Maybe you're just under more stress so your body is reacting to the metal" or something, but none of my other rings would flare up...
I've had a ring inspired by The Crow forever. By forever, I mean since I was 14 years old (which when you're almost 30, feels like forever ago). I scrounged up enough money to purchase this silver band from the comic book kiosk where my sister worked in the St. Charles Mall food court, and slipped it on my finger. It didn't come off for years (until I had to have surgery, then still went right back on after). It says, "Real love is forever". I've lived long enough, now, to know that that statement isn't completely true, but I still like the idea behind it. Plus, it's a constant reminder of my teenage goth years and that always makes me smile.
To that same finger, a few years ago, I added a Disney princess crown ring that my mother got me for xmas. Disney has an awesome line of jewelry out for adults that are inspired by the movies we grew up with (and some newer ones that blow). I have a few pieces. Some are really creative and beautiful and less obvious like the Alice in Wonderland pieces and some of the Little Mermaid pieces. Anyway, those two rings didn't leave my right finger for years upon years.
This year for Christmas, I got a beautiful Tiffany's open heart friendship ring from Nealface. I wore it for months until I started having a reaction. I moved it to a different finger. There's no way it's cheap metal. I finally just had to stop wearing it. The same thing slowly started happening with The Crow ring and my Disney princess ring.
So, this round of surgery, I didn't have any rings to remove. They didn't have to give me a ziploc baggie for all of my jewelry. It was weird. And of course, my head goes "well, what does that mean?" And if the rings I had to take off were some sort of warning, who was the warning for? I bought myself the Crow band and certainly my relationships w/ Neal and my mother are just fine, so... what does it mean?
It should mean NOTHING. Good LORD. But when I forget my Om bracelet, I think, "well, if I get into a car accident today, I'll know why." WTF is wrong with me?
I don't get this way with other OCD rituals like "If I don't turn the light switch on and off 42 times and leave it in the "on" position, my whole family will be eaten by wolves." Just the old "if I don't wear a bracelet on a certain day, I'll get into a mangled car wreck." That's all. Totally normal.
And today-- without my MJ necklace, pretty sure I'm facing certain death, which is really unfortunate because my sister and Adina are coming up tonight to spend the weekend with Dan and I... Such a shame. It was going to be a great time.
xo,
Rachael
I'm so pissed... I wrote a really long comment and it's all gone because I wasn't signed in to Wordpress so I couldn't comment with that account! Grr...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'll try to remember to the best of my ability:
I feel the same way. I think it has to do with the fact that wearing jewelry becomes such a ritual. Back when I used to wear a watch absolutely EVERY DAY, I'd feel crazy every time I forgot to put it on. Nowadays I wear a gold bracelet that once belonged to my mom; we went through her stuff one day, a few months ago, and I decided that I wanted to have it. It just stays on, and I never take it off.
But she told me to take it off before I went to the beach with Jason for a week. She didn't want me to lose it in the water, which is crazy because 1) it's a thick bracelet and 2) the clasp has TWO closing mechanisms. I had trouble taking it off so I had her help me, which I took as a sign that I wasn't meant to take it off and that something horrible was going to happen at the beach. I would never see it again. I looked at it longingly before I left...
I didn't die at the beach and the bracelet is back on. Although now that I think about it, there was an earthquake and a hurricane. Hmm.
I've experienced the bubbling skin under a ring, too... only that ring, though. And I know it's not the metal. Weird, huh?
ps: I'm starting to think that I should use your posts as topics on my blog. Posts like this one can definitely bring out some stories :) Wanna be my blog muse?
pps: Looks like you had an awesome weekend, so either you didn't die or you're a zombie :D
I hate it when that happens. I need to get into the habit of copying before hitting "submit".
ReplyDeleteYes. The jewelry does become a ritual. My MJ necklace, I take off at night and place on my nightstand, then put it back on each morning. My rings, on the other hand, I never ever took off.
What's even crazier is that after I wrote this post, the finger that had my Crow and Disney princess ring, started flaring up. Now it's like a dry itchy patch on my finger. WTF?
Of COURSE you can use whatever topics you'd like. I actually almost posted one inspired by your living will post, as well. :) We can be each other's blog muses.
When I'm really at a loss when I want to write, I definitely check out all my favorite blogs for inspiration. Please use whatever! :)