Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Finding Closure in Opening Up

My whole body keeps urging me to write.  I feel the need to communicate and pour so much onto a "page", but when I sit down to write, nothing solid comes out.  Right now, there are just fragments of what's been swimming around in my noggin' for the past week...

Bday flowers  from my work that perfectly
match my new bag
Since my birthday, I've been dealing with that whole loss thing a bit more, I've been to Maryland to see old friends and family, and I had a really nice week at work last week.  I was recognized for my efforts and the changes that I've had a hand in making since I started here (freelancing) a year ago next month.  That's putting last week very quick and simply.

It wasn't quick or simple, of course, because that's not how my life, my brain or my heart works.

While the good seriously outweighed the bad in the past couple weeks, the bad is still apparent.  I think it fell out of my face on Friday night since I was home talking to my mom and actually could discuss everything with someone who has seen my life from start to finish.  If anyone can sympathize and/or see it from the outside, it would be my mom (she's almost too brutally honest sometimes and will tell me the real deal even when it hurts).  I was hoping for some sort of insight or some hidden nugget of explanation that I somehow overlooked or missed over the last 5 months of reflection, but even she couldn't seem to understand what has happened since I moved.

So--I have really started the wheels in motion to move forward.  Maybe it was the talk with my mom and solidifying that there isn't any explanation, and there is no going anywhere (positive) from here--maybe that was the "closure" I needed, but I have made a few plans to go forth.  I'm making changes and I think they will all eventually be for the better.

With that under my belt, I slept very soundly last night.  The trip home was much needed.  It reenforced how important family, good friends (and cats) can be to a gal's mood and outlook.

Pete and Abbey
Dan and I both got a bit caught up by being surrounded by my parent's cats all weekend, so I've been looking into the best kinds of cats for people who are allergic.  I know it sounds silly to get something you're allergic to, but what a difference they make in your mood!  I think it's worth it...

Friends venturing out to the woods to see me at my parent's house makes me smile.  Big.  It was a wonderful weekend and just what I needed.  Can't wait for my next trip home.


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