Monday, June 6, 2011

In the Weeds

I spent all day Saturday at Elizabeth Park which happens to be very close to my house.  It's gorgeous.  I needed some time to myself and ended up spending hours there just laying by the pond, dividing my time between people-watching and reading, while allowing the occasional ant to make its way across my pages.

I'm not a very nature-ey gal, but for some reason this park speaks to me.  There's beautiful trees that create the perfect amount of shade, water that's home to many ducks and geese, and a rose garden that's beyond belief.  It's a nice place to relax and enjoy the outdoors.

I really have been feeling in the weeds lately.  I'm trying my best to pull myself out.  Even though I was surrounded by all of that beauty, I couldn't even crack one smile.

I'm lucky to have such a loving partner.  I'm lucky to have good friends, even if they're at a distance (geographically).  Neal, Linsey, Megan and Adina have shown me glimpses of where I used to be and have been solid reminders that I was once strong and can get there again.  My wonderful Dan shows me more and more each day that I'm here to be with him and he is a someone I would walk to the ends of the Earth for.  I want to be better for him in every way that I can.

Home was a nice reminder that I still have warmth and love all in one place, still, even if I don't call it my "home."  Family and old friends are always a nice way to feel back to normal.  Striking up a new-old relationship has also proved to be incredibly valuable.  My good friend, Megan and I have a lot in common.  It's been remarkable to catch back up with her and talk about life, love and everything in between.  I have friends that I talk to back and forth and swap advice with, but there's something different about talking to Megan.  She listens deeply when you talk to her.  She hears everything you say, whether it's about you and something you're dealing with, or if it's advice or an opinion you are giving her.  A week later, she'll come back after having let that conversation settle, and repeat things you said to her verbatim and come back with her insight.  It's incredible.  It's rare.  It's sad that it's so rare, but she's one of the rarest roses, as Em and I say.  I'm lucky to have her back in my life.

I'm hoping this low point quickly fades away, but with these few sweet reminders and a park to visit to clear my head, I'm hoping I'll be back to my old self sooner rather than later.  At the very least, this slump is making take notice of the things and people I have to be grateful for, and I have to try to keep an eye on that silver lining.

Here's to getting out of the weeds.



  1. I am glad you have such a nice park near you. It is good to have a nice spot outside the house when you are in need of some quiet time. I love reading outside.

  2. I'd be too busy sneezing my head off to crack a smile with all that grass! Not that I'd be all up in there anyway, me and my damn hatred for all things creepy-crawly.

    Feel better soon, Rach!

  3. Thanks, Katie! :) I really enjoyed it.

    And thanks, Soph. That was the odd thing about this park-- my allergies have been HELL this year, but it was like the park was pollen free... I can't explain it. It was so open and nice and I didn't get sneezy at all, AND, more importantly, didn't even take any allergy meds that day. Odd, huh? I think that's another reason I liked it so much. I was shocked I could be outside at a place other than a beach and not be a mess.

    I hate crawly things, too, except ants. I could care less about ants. I didn't see anything else... luckily. Haha. I brought a chair, too, just in case, but ended up laying on the towel the whole time. :) More comfy.